Kinx, my foster kitty, showed us the benefits of sitting still. (See previous post). She was learning to listen to herself and evaluate her surroundings and her abilities. Sitting still served a survival function for Kinx. She stayed tucked away, waiting until she knew she wouldn’t be eaten by polar bears or carried off by dragons.
Kinx was safe, but a fearful part of her drove her to stay hidden.
I have fearful parts, and I’m sure you do too. Our fearful parts, like all parts, want the best for us. They want us to be safe and not be hurt. Our parts will use various strategies to keep us safe. They will drive us to hide, yell, people please, forget, or get lost in TikTok. All these strategies probably were effective in keeping us safe at some point in our life. But often a survival strategy outlives its usefulness, like when we stay hidden and small because we’re not sure how we’ll cope with the unexpected or if we’ll be received kindly or if our skills are up for the task. If we stay stuck in a corner, we might not get hurt. But neither will we run and play and make new friends. We can’t have joy in the dark corner. We can’t even receive comfort if we remain fearful.
Sometimes we need help to risk stepping outside of our comfort zone and trying something different. Sometimes we can’t do it alone.